(written in December 13, 2011)
Sometimes I feel that I’m not from this world,
that this world is not for me,
that doesn’t make sense.
I feel good when I’m alone,
when I don’t have to worry about making relationships, friendships by appearance…
I feel what I feel…
it’s deeply and sincere for me
when I don’t feel good in some place, and with some people…
I know that I don’t have to obligate me to have these “connections”…
I just want to live my sincere truth,
and be in peace.
–*–
world is passing by many changes…
that was always and always will be.
I’m in it… physical body…
submerged and receiving influences from all sides…
I feel me…
internally, and what I am, as something so true, that I don’t make questions
–*–
sometimes I think that nothing
more of here interests me,
that I don’t need anything
of material to live…
–*–
I analyse if is not connected with the spiritual living,
what exists beyond of this physicals time and space,
beyond of this body…
It’s like if I want to stay,
to don’t try to joint in rules, standards, styles…
It seens that is everything is going alright
and in meditation I feel me
always better,
welcome, understood
that way, I don’t understand with total clearly the participation in rebellions,
the insulting of governants…
because I think that if each one enter a little bit more inside their inner Self…
they will find the peace, the love, the wisdom…
and will not externalize attitudes
and violental thoughts…
they say a lot about 2012…
like an end of an “Era”…
at Brahma Kumaris they say that we are passing by the step of transition between the Iron Age (material world) and the Golden Age (incorporal world)…
before this change, however, exists the moment in which all the souls returns to the “soul’s home”…
I feel that meditation brings me and will be continually bringing me answers to certain doubts…
I have been access to know many theorys about this subject…
first person in this life to introduce me certain informations about was my grandfather…
it’s interesting to think about so much he told me about ancient civilizations and mysteries of humankind and life,
it’s interesting to think that he talks with me since I was very young, a child…
it’s like he trusted a lot in me and it’s like he needed to utilize all of his available time to pass me this knowledge…
maybe I have an important mission related this momment.
I don’t want to became proud,
to feel me like somekind of “god in Earth”,
but I only want to keep this way, atempt…
atempt to who brings me wisdom, “awakenesses”, examples of life…
I want to be “alighted”, “iluminated” as a lighthouse and sane about decisions I take…
in harmony about what I feel internally and what makes sense in world…
–*–
I just desired to be nun, beggar, cleaner…
or maybe it’s that I felt in this “papers” in my childhood…
to be a nun: is about to help
to be a beggar: is about to be free
to be a cleaner: is about to work
The path is inside me.
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